The Rubric -- by D.Esquire

When Miss Dimplez asked me to review some music for her blog, my first question was how critical do you want me to be? Coming from the production aspect of the music industry, my ear tends to run a little more critical than most. I am sure my J.D. doesn't help with being meticulous about things. In short, if I have to blast this stuff in my ear, it better be worth the hearing loss. Luckily, she simply responded, “Do you”. So, here is my scale of review.
3 briefcases: You are an artist. You have a marketable and professional sound which you deliver consistently. Your presentation is consistent with your product. Your production is clear and clever, in step with current trends or slightly ahead. The audio engineering is virtually perfect, studio ready, and you are poised for a record deal.

2 briefcases: You need some work. You have a good sound but it lacks something special. You are inconsistent. Your production is good but you could use a few more samples or might use live instruments. Your audio engineering is good but re-record a few verses. You are good enough to be a underground contender.

1 briefcase: You lied to me and said you were an artist. I’m suing you for you for false imprisonment and fraud. You made me listen to your crappy music and I want compensation for the time I lost. You have unimaginative lyrics and pisspoor delivery. Your production is 3 years too late and could be reproduced by an 4th grade music class. Your audio engineering is a joke and sounds like you record the whole thing via cellphones. You need to stop wasting the world’s energy and go green.
I have a few expectations for anyone who claims to want to be in the music industry seriously. I fully expect that if you are serious about your music, you are also serious about your image/brand/label. Do not send anything for review unless you invest in the presentation. This is the music industry. It is a business. You're just starting, so that's understandable, but just sending a burned CD in a manila envelope asking for review won’t cut it. Do more. It takes the average listener 30 seconds to make an impression of your music, if the presentation is poor, you will not get all 30 seconds. STILL think you have what it takes? Submit your music here:

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