Advice Letter: My Man Moves Slow

Dear Miss Dimplez
I'm 28 and have been exclusively dating someone, 36, for almost a year now. I feel, given our age, we should have enough experience to know whether we would like to pursue a serious relationship. When I ask my boyfriend about a future commitment, which means he wants me in his future and is committed to making it work, his response is, "Let's take it slow." Frankly, I don't know how much slower I can take it. I am not insinuating marriage or even living together. I would like to know he is committed to the possibility of a life together. What is a reasonable period for someone to know if they are willing to commit on the level I described? I understand everyone works on a different time clock, but when does time run out? He will only share that he loves me if I ask him. I am a patient, caring, loving, smart woman who has a lot to offer. I love this man, but I am realistic and will not wait forever.

Sincerely,
Girl Whose Man Moves Too Slow


Dear Girl Whose Man Moves Too Slow,
As much as we would like to make our relationships move according to a speed we're comfortable with, or we expect, that's not how life is, nor does the other person move at our speed. In a relationship it is not best to rush things, but I understand you're impatient with his lack of commitment for the future, so talk to him about it. If after the conversation the terms of your relationship are STILL unsuitable for you, take a month-long break from the relationship. After a month, return to the relationship only if there is anything worth salvaging, other wise move on... You may love that man, but you are not super glued to that man. And until you're married or have children, you have no REAL commitment to him. - Miss Dimplez

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