Dear Miss Dimplez,
I think my boyfriend is gay. We've been dating for like 7 years now, since we were in high school. When we started dating I always though he had feminine tendencies, but I always attributed that to him being raised by a single mother. And we've been intimate, he isn't "the best" lover, but he's always been passionate. But as of late he's been wanting to have anal sex, and if I'm not up to it, he's been pushing me away. I've also caught him checking guys out when we go out to eat and stuff. We live together and he has moved from our bedroom into the guest bedroom. We have one child together, so I really don't want to leave him, but I want him to be happy. If he's not into women, there's no way I can make him happy. I hope I didn't turn him gay. I really think he's trying to hide his new orientation, but he hasn't touched me in 6 months... I'm worried..
Sincerely,
Girl Who Thinks Her Man Is Gay
Dear Girl Who Thinks Her Man Is Gay,
First and foremost, you cannot "turn" someone gay, but speculating about it, looking for changes and subtleties, will only continue to affirm what you think. Keyword being think, because until you have a conversation with him, you will not know. The more solidified you are on your opinion the harder it will be to come out to you if he is gay. Despite his sexual orientation, keep in mind he is only one-third of your relationship. By moving into the guest room, distancing himself,...etc, he is changing that one-third. The remaining two-thirds of the relationship is you and your child. Will his sexual orientation change how good of a father he is? No, probably not. Will his sexual orientation affect your relationship? Yes, most definitely. Are you willing to handle the two, in separate strides, no matter what comes you way? Well, that answer is up to you... But, the only way to find out if he is or isn't gay is by talking to him. - Miss Dimplez
